trauma bonds.

omg.

no wonder we both felt like hostages.

so no wonder that in spite of evidence i’m making progress and even beginning to enjoy becoming a whole bean and not a ‘haffa-bean’ or that old school nick…‘his other half’… something i’d always dreamed of being…[ew]…so it’s also no wonder my actual dreams are these sickening nightmares where i’m reliving nebulous, passive-aggressive relationship dynamics and emotional triggers that set off old [too familiar] feelings of desperation, confusion, anxiety and self-loathing.

apparently, trauma bonds run real deep and all the effort i put into breaking their grip on me during the day [especially these covid-19 days, man] just means trauma bonds are clever and patient… they’ll lay low… because eventually “she’s gonna fall asleep…”.

trauma and trauma bonds… the gift that keeps on giving.

from the low branches… :-(