Nana Gives Birth to Post-Covid Love Child
Lockdown outed my shadow and helped me rescue my inner-child
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I’m on the mend.
It’s August 2022 and after two PLUS years of thinking I could outrun life on life’s terms, I’m beat.
It’s high time to face the boogeymen working in and outside of my subconscious and waking life and learn to accept them for what and who they really are.
Survival skills.
How a cruel and distorted worldview adopted as a child could shape, reflect, and influence every decision and choice I’ve made throughout my complicated childhood and chaotic adult life seemed… well, lame.
At best.
Guess it takes what it takes.
And for that, I’m [mostly] grateful.
Q: What was the first time you can remember codependent events happening in your life?
a: i needed a drink in kindergarten.
we were singing our “abc’s”, no, “itsy-bitsy spider”, no wait… it was imma little teapot! while the teacher played piano.
we were a gaggle of wee ones sitting cross-legged around the piano bench nestled like puppies or kittens depending.
i remember being completely caught up in the moment… singing happily so singing loudly when suddenly the small, meaning smaller than me, asian girl with jet black straight hair and perfect bangs, meaning not a big-boned mutt like me with different hair, who sat knee-to-knee-next-to-me close vomited.
not just once, not twice, but three times.
each hurl full-bodied and what didn’t land in her lap sloshed over on me and maybe one of the pups or kittens sitting in front of her.
i remember feeling horrified and mortified.
my very horrible, very terrible, very bad singing day made my classmate throw up.
i told the teacher what i did and she didn’t believe me or she was too busy taking care of the litter most of which were involuntary gagging and retching because you know, barf really stinks.
when my mom picked me up from school i told her my singing made my friend puke and my mom didn’t…
