i definitely don't have the answer to this one, ms. adeline... BUT... i too, eschewed tradition and conformity because playing by the rules meant winning a booby prize at best.

i'm super single at 63, however spent 35 years [egad. that's some stark basic math] tethered to men i truly believed at the time were my PERSON or in this case let's say my witness.

unfortunately for me anyway... my picker picked lousy witnesses.

i left those relationships yet my let's stay friends! aquarian nature reveals i was the one keeping notes and archiving my and/or our moments and memories.

friendly conversations i've had of late with the once-men-of-my-dreams reveal a lack of sentiment or even clear recall of the meaningful times or events etched forever on my heart and in my mind reminding me i may have been the only one paying that kind of attention to our lives together?

erf.

what's that big sucking sound?

i think it's reality, girlfriend.

we're our own most reliable, caring witnesses [and i don't know if that's even techincally possible] but i'd rather bank on that than risk another go around where i'm his and our girl friday, if that makes any sense.

sorry to hear you're giving up on giving up, but i'm not surprised... once a goddess-warrior always a goddess-warrior.

:-)

<3<3<3